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Having a baby impacts virtually every aspect of our lives, from our careers to our relationships. One major shift that new parents must adjust to is a changing sex life. Pregnancy and childbirth are not conducive to romance or sex. After childbirth, women feel sore, strung out from shifting hormone levels, and extremely tired from having to take care of a newborn all hours of the day and night.

Many new mothers simply don’t feel like having sex. Much of that arises from all of the changes that they have experienced in their bodies. After going through such a physical and mental ordeal, many women feel anxious about sex, don’t feel like themselves, and need time to return to normal. Sex may feel painful the first few times after childbirth, and may seem like more of a burden than the fun, pleasurable activity that it once was.

When is a good time to start having sex again? That really depends on you. Doctors generally recommend to wait at least four weeks before attempting penetration because of tears and a sore perineal area. However, if you and your partner feel physically ready to try sex again, you should feel comfortable doing so. There is also the option of skipping penetration altogether and using other means of sexual stimulation instead.

Partners need to have a mutual understanding of one another during this time period. Men must understand that their partners are going through a whirlwind of physical and emotional changes, and may not be ready to attempt sex just yet. In turn, women need to sympathize with the fact that the man in her life may feel left out or neglected.

Many women suffer from a lowered libido in the months after childbirth, which can be concerning for both partners. However, in most cases, sexual desire will return over time. If you find you still have little interest in sex six months or more after having your baby, you should schedule an appointment with your doctor.

When you do have sex again, using lubricant will make the process less painful. Try to find a comfortable position that does not compromise the pleasure of either party. And always make sure that you are having sex because you want to, not because you feel pressured into it by your partner.

Keeping communication open and honest is key to your relationship’s success during this trying period.



Posted by Janice Washington

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