Question from HayleeJ.
My husband and both want to adopt but we are not sure if it such a great idea since I am six months pregnant with twins, a girl and a boy. Since I am pregnant we don’t want to adopt right now because we want to give the twins all the attention they will need and when we get the child we want to give him/her the attention that they will need. We want to adopt a child around the age of 2 or 3 years. My question is Is it is good idea to adopt? And if so how long after the twins are born should we try and adopt?
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My husband and both want to adopt but we are not sure if it such a great idea since I am six months pregnant with twins, a girl and a boy. Since I am pregnant we don’t want to adopt right now because we want to give the twins all the attention they will need and when we get the child we want to give him/her the attention that they will need. We want to adopt a child around the age of 2 or 3 years. My question is Is it is good idea to adopt? And if so how long after the twins are born should we try and adopt?
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Waha! Very admirable, but lets see how you feel AFTER the twins are born okay. You may not find it all as thrilling as you think but I have nothing but respect for your idea!
I would look around yahoo groups for an adoption support group. They would be able to answer all your questions and even question you havn’t thought of yet….
I have a 2 year old boy and he is a lot of work! I want another baby too but after discussing it with my husband we decided to wait until our son is 3 or 4. That way he will be about ready to start pre school and wont need 100 percen of our attention. But you should wait until after you have the babies and decide what would be best for you. everyone is different, you might want to addopt right away or you may decide that twins are taking up ALL of your time and you need to wait. either way dont let anyone make the decision for you…it’s about what you and your husband want and when YOU feel ready. Good luck. Congrats on the twins!
It’s really a judgement call, you may find it difficult raising twins not to mention the sleep factor and i hope it doesn’t happen to you but there may be some post-partum depression after that you may have to address it but if everything goes well there are many children out there wating for loving parents…good luck
Wait untill you experience the reality of raising twins before you consider adding a toddler who WILL have some detatchment, and possibly some attatchment issues. Children at any age experience tremendous loss when they are removed from their parents, regardless of how they were treated. What we see as abuse or neglect, they see as “normal”. They then experience a second loss when they are removed from their temporary or foster care giver, so when they finally reach their final placement, they may have developed a defensive avoidance of attatchnment due to lack of trust in permanance. This is usually tempory, but it is frustrating for all involved. It can be more serious also depending on the childs background. Either way, he or she will require far more attention from the adoptive parents than biological children. As a VERY general rule of thumb, the younger the child, the more resiliant and the easier the transition. I would also wait untill your twins are 2-3 years older than the child you wish to adopt. It is a good idea to adopt, but you really need to educate yourself about it. Congratulations on your twins, and good luck
Congratulations. I say wait and see. You can also talk to parents of other twins to get a sense of the work load to see when it is feasible to have a new addition.
My personal guess would be to wait until the twins are at least toilet trained. Consider work arrangements, etc. in all this too. Good luck. Whatever decision you make, I’m sure you won’t regret it. It’s only a matter of having your hands full.
I have 15 month old twins, and three older children. I would recommend that you wait until your twins are a year old before you even think about beginning the adoption process. Wait and see how hard or easy it is to raise the twins, and then decide if you really want to have more children. Many moms I know who had their twins first just said, “That’s it! I’m done.” Twins are a double blessing, but they are totally exhausting the first year while you’re figuring out sleep schedules, feeding schedules, etc. Also, many twins are born early, which means they have some challenges the first few months, and need to be fed even more often, sleep more fitfully, etc. I’m not trying to scare you (though I probably am–sorry!), but I already had three kids, some of whom helped with the babies, and I could not imagine caring for another infant even now that the twins are fifteen months old.
As a Waiting Parent, my advice is, “if” you want to adopt, then start the process now. Go to an agency in your area, or even foster care (your faster chance of adopting an older baby) Adoption takes time. You will need to have a homestudy that will take at least 3 months for approval, FBI clearance, social workers, etc., BUT do your research! Adoption takes time, and “just because” you already have children “may or may not” be a plus for you. The birthmother chooses…………and, it all about “connection”……..not circumstances……..my advice to you, is to start doing your homework NOW. Good luck!
Hi there…First and foremost I would like to congratulate you on expecting twins what a blessing from God.I really don’t mean to under mind you but for right now you should wait with adopting any kids since you are expecting twins.Taking care of twin babies can be very overwhelming at times and to add a 3rd one to the list right now would be a mayor job for you to take on at this point.Why not have your twins first and see how everything goes before you decide to adopt a child.Trust me I know as I had twins a while back and the last thing I wanted at that point was to have anymore kids.
I wish you nothing but the best and have a great labor and delivery.